If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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