the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
