Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
