and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
