good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
