i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
