i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
