I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it hurts more in the daytime
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
