I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
