I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
