i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
