It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
