Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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