Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
should my penis look like a turkey
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
