btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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