just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
