is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
