Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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