I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
