Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's like God shit irony all over that family
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
