tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
