All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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