you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
