First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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