i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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