Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
