He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
