so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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