were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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