Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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