well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
