so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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