He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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