His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
