i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
