I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
worst night to have a conscience
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
