it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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