he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
