He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
