haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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