I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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