I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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