You can't special order awesome
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Couch. On fire.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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