She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
