Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
