Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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