You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
