If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
