Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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