Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
