booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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