I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
