Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
