Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
