I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
