She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
